Pictures Don’t Tell The Whole Story

This blog challenge prompt is to pick a picture and write about it. I’m going to give you a few.

First up, we have this little gem. It was a summer day in Glasco, KS, in the early 1970s (1972 or 1973, if I had to guess). Mom dressed me and Jon up in cute little outfits and took us down to the grocery store where a photographer was set up and taking pictures. This was a small-town grocery store with shelves crammed full of goods and a wooden floor. Jon and I were only 20 months apart in age, so Mom was wrangling two toddlers for all intents and purposes. Jon was not a fan of any activity that didn’t involve his tricycle or his Tonka trucks or just running amok outside in general. My biggest complaint that day was that the elastic in my bloomers was cutting into my thighs, so I wasn’t being my usual patient self, but I was holding it together better than Jon. Mom picked her battle and the bloomers came off so she could concentrate on keeping Jon from absconding. By the time we got to the front of the line and climbed up on the little platform, Jon was in a right state about the entire ordeal. Mom and the photographer were trying every trick in the book to stop him from crying for the photograph, including waving a toy in the air by the camera–hence why my hand was up in the picture as I tried to grab at it. The powers that be shined upon us in that instant and Jon smiled and the picture was obtained.

I don’t know if we were immediately hauled home or if we got to walk across the street to Dad’s car repair garage, but odds are pretty good that we got to pop in and say hi to Dad for a few minutes. I always enjoyed hanging out at the shop. We were allowed to roam up and down the dusty, oily aisles of shelves containing parts. Dad’s pen holder on the counter was a distributer cap. Hanging on the wall was a gigantic moose head with a red ornament on the nose in a nod to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He had a pop machine there that gave you ice-cold bottles of pop for a quarter. If I were lucky, Seymour would stop by while we were there. He was an older gentleman who always wore a pair of overalls with a piece of clear tubing in his pocket that was at least 2 feet long. He had lost his voice box, so he couldn’t talk, but he would motion me over and hand me a quarter to get him a Mountain Dew from the pop machine. He would let me pop the lid off with the built-in pop bottle lid opener, and then with a twinkle in his eye he would haul out that long piece of tubing and poke it in the bottle and use it as a straw. It worked much better than a regular straw that was too short and would get lost in the bottle if a person didn’t bend the end first. If we saw Seymour out and about around town, we could always get him to swing us around by the arms as if we were flying.

This is a gift I gave Jon years ago that he had on his desk at home–I had edited a caption onto it that reads “I smile because you are my brother… I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it”.

The picture seems innocuous enough. It was taken about 10 years after the other picture. We got all dressed up and went to the education center of our church in WaKeeney to have our family photos taken for the church directory. They took pictures of our entire family, one of the parents alone, and one of the kids alone. What you don’t see is that Jon had quite long fingernails, and said fingernails were digging into my shoulder deep enough to leave marks through my shirt. If there is one thing our family knows how to do, folks, it is to smile through the pain. Jon’s smiling smirk tells you how much he was enjoying inflicting pain at a moment that I could do nothing about it. This is why it was the perfect picture for this caption when I gifted him the frame. I figured eventually he would take out the picture and replace it with one of his choosing, but apparently he liked it as is.

Let’s jump ahead another 10 years to the early 90s. Grandad Oscar has entered the chat! We were in my home in Hays, and Grandad had stopped by for a very rare visit. When Jon and I were little tikes, we only saw Grandad when he snuck into the state and stopped by long enough to say hi and then got the hell out of Dodge cuz inevitably someone ratted him out to Granny and she called the cops on him for dodging child support and whatnot decades before. Grandad was barely 5′ tall, whereas Jon had hit 6’8″ by the time he was an adult. Jon had on his work clothes, since he was working at Taco Shop in Hays at the time; it must have been shortly after he started, since he had cut his hair short to get the job. My cat Taime loved the smell of Taco Shop and would roll all over Jon when he came over after work. It got to the point that he would just toss his visor to her when he walked in the door so she could have at it. I was in a Fort Hays State University Memorial Union Activities Board Major Concert Committee shirt, since I was the ticket sales manager for the big-name concerts we held on campus each year. The house was a 1970s mobile home, so of course it was wall-to-wall paneling and brown-on-brown furniture. I had bookcases crammed everywhere I could fit them.

Just for fun, here’s another picture from the same era of the 90s. Jon was not in work clothes this time, but he was with his best feline friend Taime. As I said, I had bookcase crammed everywhere. It is one of my favorite pictures of Jon since it is how he looked when he wasn’t dressing nicely for work and could just be himself. The red splotches on his hand and face are just poor picture quality.

So yeah, hope you enjoyed these pictures and accompanying stories–see ya next week!

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall–Oh Wait…

This week’s blog challenge prompt is “write about 99 things that make you smile/happy”.

That’s a lot.

In no particular order, 99 things that bring me joy–

  1. Tambour’s bottomless well of knowledge (go ahead, ask him anything–if he doesn’t know it, he knows something adjacent)
  2. Ian’s physical health (it was touch & go there for a few years, folks)
  3. Tiana’s determination (try to stand in her way–I dare you)
  4. Austin’s tenacity (it’s his way or no way if you can’t provide a worthy substitute)
  5. Cats–allllll of the cats (OK, jury’s still out on sphinx cats)
  6. Big fluffy clouds that you can make shapes in
  7. Overcast skies
  8. Rain–drizzles, downpours (unless I have to go from point A to point B in it), gentle pitter patters
  9. Milk–whole if possible, but 2% is tolerable
  10. Fresh cream on warm pie or cobbler
  11. Bread pudding
  12. Bierochs
  13. Galuskies
  14. Thunderstorms
  15. Lightning
  16. Fireflies
  17. Smartphones that function
  18. Amethyst
  19. Fire opal
  20. When my meds kick in and I can breathe again
  21. Reading
  22. Mysteries
  23. Biographies
  24. Comedies
  25. Documentaries
  26. Crisp, cool hotel sheets with fluffy pillows
  27. Waterbeds without excessive ballast
  28. Emails that aren’t spam
  29. Keeping up with my friends and family on social media
  30. Purple (blue purple, not red purple)
  31. Sketching with pencil
  32. Sketching with oil pastels
  33. The color combination of turquoise blue and purple
  34. The color lavender
  35. Heatherwood jewelry
  36. The smell of Obsession cologne
  37. X-Men movies
  38. Writing letters
  39. Writing books
  40. Sarcasm
  41. Satire
  42. Comedian Josh Blue
  43. Tarot cards
  44. Crystals
  45. Metaphysical fairs
  46. Renaissance faires
  47. Watching cosplayers create their costumes
  48. Weather in the 50-70oF range
  49. Helping my kids with craft projects
  50. Creating icons and emojis for my brother back in the day
  51. Reminiscing about loved ones who have passed
  52. Cemeteries
  53. Genealogy
  54. Novelty earrings
  55. Pins (flair, pinback buttons)
  56. Cheesecake
  57. Carrot cake
  58. Strawberry jello poke cake
  59. Elvis Presley
  60. Buddy Holly
  61. Kingston Trio’s funny songs
  62. Johnny Cash’s funny songs
  63. Unsweet Lipton Pure Leaf tea
  64. Windows XP (rest in peace)
  65. Star Wars 4-6
  66. Star Trek Next Generation
  67. Halloween
  68. Cream of Wheat cereal with sugar and milk
  69. Fried cornmeal mush
  70. Mounds candy bar
  71. Aquafina water
  72. 80s hair band music
  73. Some of the music my kids listen to
  74. Watching my kids play (sports, board games, video games, etc)
  75. Badminton
  76. Smart ass comments (verbal, on t-shirts, wherever)
  77. Learning
  78. Greek and Roman mythology
  79. Cool summer nights with starry skies
  80. Sitting around talking for hours with friends
  81. Cool autumn days with colorful leaves
  82. Shrinky dinks
  83. Maraschino cherries
  84. Pizza
  85. Tequila sunrises
  86. Porch swings
  87. Inner-tubing on a lazy creek
  88. Museums
  89. Baggy t-shirts
  90. Vanilla-scented anything
  91. Candles
  92. Fireplaces
  93. Firepits
  94. Letting someone else do the cooking
  95. Going to concerts
  96. Road trips
  97. Stow & go seating in Dodge Grand Caravans
  98. Google maps app
  99. Petting zoos

Shhh…

The next blog challenge prompt is “What do you like about blogging/writing?”

The short answer is that I like writing because I hate talking.

I don’t like my voice. It is very monotone, and just all around not pleasant to listen to. I spent most of my childhood being mocked by my classmates when I did speak up in class. Part of this was because they didn’t like that I knew all of the answers, and part of it was that they thought I sounded weird. I will never forget when a classmate turned around in his seat and said, “I. NEVER. Want. To. Hear. You. Laugh. Again.” He didn’t. I would go days without saying a word in class.

I also have social anxiety and don’t like speaking in public. The worst job I ever held was as a call center employee doing cold calls for credit card companies–I lasted 3 weeks. My undergraduate degree was in English secondary education, and my student teaching was as an English teacher in a high school. My supervising professor was TERRIFIED that I was going to be eaten alive by these teenagers because I was so introverted and soft-spoken. He was stunned when he arrived to evaluate my progress and found that I was holding my own just fine. However, I did recognize that I preferred smaller classroom settings. I opted to get into special education for my graduate degree, since special education classrooms rarely have over 10 students at a time. There is always a work-around when it comes to social anxiety that doesn’t always involve blatant avoidance tactics.

But boy oh boy, do I love to write. I used to handwrite 20+ page letters to friends and my cousin. Writing 500 word essays didn’t bother me as long as I had a solid topic. Citing sources is tedious, but it is a necessary evil. I express myself best when I do it in a written format. I recently had to get up in front of 50+ people for an event for one of my children. The parent usually gives a brief congratulatory speech, but I told the audience that I write much better than I speak and directed them to open their programs and read what I had written there before I escaped back to the sidelines.

Writing is easy for me. I have plenty of thoughts rolling around in my mind at all times, and they flow fairly easily through the keyboard onto the page. I tend to edit in my mind more than I do on the page, so my first draft is often my final draft. This is a lifelong issue–in high school and college, I would deliberately “forget” a comma or misspell a word just so I had something to go back and correct to appease the instructor.

So yeah, I’ve got plenty to say–as long as I can write it!

Bunch of Neaderthals

The next blog challenge prompt is to write about a social cause that is near and dear to my heart–there are plenty of causes that make me leap on my soapbox, but I can’t currently think of something I want to rant about, so I will have to put a pin in that one and circle back to it in a few weeks.

Skipping down to the next blog challenge prompt–“Write a ‘then and now’ post.” OK, I have been waiting for this one.

We live with my mom, who is 78. She generally controls the TV remote most evenings, so we watch a lot of old black & white westerns. I use the term “watch” lightly for myself–that is what is playing on the TV in the background while I am either reading on my ereader or scrolling through social media or texting with my kids. Periodically I tune in enough to the show and search Wikipedia for some obscure thing mentioned, satisfy my curiosity, and then return to my scrolling.

But there is another genre my mom watches, and that is crime dramas–specifically, reruns of Perry Mason and Quincy, M.E., with a little Columbo and Monk thrown in along with NCIS (or Bones if the grandkids are home). We also get Murder, She Wrote and a few Hallmark Channel feel-good mysteries. Occasionally after she goes to bed, I watch reruns of Emergency!. And let me tell you, I absolutely CRINGE when I watch the shows from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s.

Have you seen how they handle evidence back in the 50s and 60s?! Perry is in that courtroom just grabbing the murder weapon off the table with his bare hands, no evidence bag to be seen anywhere. Lt. Tragg handles the evidence and nods and says “Yes, that is my mark there”–they wrote directly on the evidence to identify it?! The only time it is tagged with a little slip of paper on a string is to label it with the court marker after it is logged as evidence. Very rarely we might see Perry pick up a telephone receiver with a handkerchief at the murder scene, and I do mean rarely. Egads, the contamination of evidence is mindboggling!

Blood evidence is a wild progression through the decades. Occasionally Perry and his cohorts will bluff a suspect by saying they were able to determine a blood smear was human rather than animal, chuckling to their colleagues that anyone would believe they had that capability. Quincy and Sam can tell what blood type they are dealing with (A, B, AB, O, + or negative), and at the tail end of the series they are starting to prepare gel slides of rudimentary DNA profiles that they hold up to each other to see if they matched. By the time we get to Abby in the NCIS lab, she and Major Mass Spec are pumping out computer graphics of chemical compounds and declaring that the suspect visited the Amazon jungle at the age of 15.

Computers are whole phenomenon themselves in the shows. Perry does his best to mimic what a computer would do by having timelines written neatly on a board and then having Della Street do her best Vanna White impression as she slides open each line sequentially. Quincy has a chunky piece of technology that spits out reams of dot matrix data that he pours over. McGee is where it’s at–he’s got all of the fairly modern gadgetry at his fingertips to hack and analyze.

And can we talk about the smoking? It is truly sad to watch the episodes of Perry Mason as the characters chain smoke, knowing from my Wikipedia delving that many of the actors died a few years later from lung cancer and strokes. Quincy is a bit better, mostly sticking to the bad guys and a few side characters puffing like chimneys as Quincy does a PSA about the dangers of smoking. By the time we get to NCIS, cigarettes are rare bits of evidence in a handful of episodes, and we see very little footage of the villains wrecking their health with bad choices. Alcohol is a different story–that goes gangbusters throughout the decades.

I have to work hard to suspend my disbelief as I watch the older shows, and I am constantly amazed that they managed to solve any crimes at all. When I connect actual crimes to the same decades, I am astounded that Ted Bundy and Charles Manson and other monsters were ever convicted. I’m glad they were, but hats off to the detectives and forensic scientists who did it with primitive methods.

There’s A Day for That

This week’s blog challenge prompt is “Grab the days of the year calendar and pick at least ten to write about.” Just for fun, let’s look at the birthdays in my family.

  1. March 9: Barbie Day
    • Pink is not a color we see her in often, but she is a woman we all look up to and admire!
  2. April 4: Tell A Lie Day
    • I laughed at this one, because the person born on April 4th is known for not being able to tell a lie without it being immediately obvious. Fortunately, he has opted to stick with being truthful.
  3. June 1: Say Something Nice Day
    • Does it count that he was infamous in the family for his “No Whining” sign? No, actually he was a big proponent of the adage “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”, and he reminded me often as a teenager that this also applied to writing when I kept getting busted for being snarky.
  4. June 14: Bourbon Day
    • Pretty sure she won’t be partaking in this holiday, with parents who were both alcoholics.
  5. July 15: Gummi Worm Day
    • OK, sure–guess next year we will celebrate with “worms in dirt” dessert.
  6. August 5: Work Like A Dog Day
    • Well, he did like dogs, and he was constantly working on something in his mind or in practice; he was rarely idle.
  7. August 23: Ride Like The Wind Day
    • Does it count that he used to run like the wind? He placed 3rd in the state track meet, which is impressive to me since I can’t run at all.
  8. September 26: Love Note Day
    • Aww, how sweet–he actually did write our entire family notes of appreciation this summer and it was beautiful.
  9. December 16: Chocolate Covered Anything Day
    • Gotta admit, this does fit–she loves anything dipped in chocolate. She is a fan of chocolate-dipped strawberries and marshmallows.
  10. December 20: Ugly Sweater Day
    • This one is mine, and eh, sure–I don’t mind sweaters ugly or otherwise, as long as it is cold outside.

Stream o’ Consciousness

The next blog challenge prompt is “set your clock for 15 minutes and free-write about anything that comes to mind.” So I guess we’re going down a rabbit hole–buckle up.

You know that meme about how women have 50 million tabs open on their mental computer? Yeah… Let’s see what’s on my mind for a few minutes.

Learned the term “professional patient” awhile back. This certainly describes my reality. Life is an endless merry-go-round of doctor appointments and trips to the pharmacy. Currently a bit pissed off at my doctors cuz it feels like they are waiting for me to just kick it so they don’t have to fix this damn cough and lung mass that is the size of a kiwi.

Few things set my teeth on edge faster than having a long to-do list and giving myself a chance to sit down and relax for a bit, only to have someone decide I must be bored and free and it’s a great time to give me something to do. I can keep myself busy quite well, thank you.

Do you ever get tired of figuring out what to cook for meals day in and day out? I do. If it were up to me currently, I would just eat cereal for a few weeks for every meal until I didn’t feel so burned out. Unfortunately, my family members aren’t really fans of this plan, and my husband is under doctor’s orders to not use stoves or anything else that involves open flame thanks to his brain injury and seizure disorder. Ugh.

I’ve dipped my toe into a new author’s works this week–finished the first 1.5 novels in a series. Now it is an internal struggle to not rush out and buy the rest of the series when I need to watch my spending. Sigh…

Got a new phone a couple weeks ago. Still tweaking the settings, but I am having fun customizing notification sounds to each task or person. I wish Jesse Snider had “Juggernaut” as a ringtone so I could set that for my X notification since Jesse is the main one I get notifications for on that app.

Y’know the weirdest part for me when kids grow up? No longer having 24/7 access to my favorite people. I miss the days of their piling onto my bed and just chatting for hours, catching up on their day as they passed through the kitchen while I was fixing something, hearing them chatter in another room as they showed each other different music. They are cool people.

I am so glad fall is almost here–I am very much over these 90o + days and can’t wait for cooler weather. I am not a fan of hot. Not crazy about ice and cold, either, but hot is mega YUCK.

Time’s up!

Top 5

This week’s blog challenge prompt is “List your favorite books/authors/musicians and write about them”. To preserve my sanity, I am going to do a Top 5 of each category rather than the usual Top 10. These are in no particular order.

TOP 5 BOOKS

  1. The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return–Richard Raley
    • I freaking love the scene when King Henry Price pops back into the “court” and hands Guildmaster Massey his ass on a platter. Hands down, best whoop-ass monologue ever.
  2. “The Literary Offenses of James Fenimore Cooper”–Mark Twain
    • No, it’s not a book–it’s an essay. But 28 years after reading it for the first time, I still can’t read it without bursting in laughter aloud. I read The Last of the Mohicans when I was in high school, so when I was assigned to read Twain’s essay in college, I knew exactly what he was attacking.
  3. Roots–Alex Haley
    • I read this book when I was 12. My parents did not gatekeep books from me based on age or subject matter, and I thank them for that. Consequently, by the time I got to high school and encountered American History, I knew better than my classmates that we were not being told an accurate history. It rankled me then, and it rankles me now.
  4. Wait For Me, Watch For Me, Eula Bee–Patricia Ann Beatty
    • Our 6th grade English teacher Mrs. Gibson read this book to the class. I was captivated by the story of a little girl captured by Native Americans in the frontier, but more importantly, I learned what a cliffhanger was and that it is OK for older students to take a break and simply listen to a story instead of working all of the time. I also then read every Patricia Ann Beatty book I could lay my hands on, and none of them disappointed. I discovered I enjoyed historical fiction.
  5. The Power of Myth–Joseph Campbell
    • I read this when I was a young adult in college, and it was damn near a spiritual awakening for me. I could feel my third eye opening right then and there. My copy is full of highlighted passages and notes in the margins. Haven’t reread it since then, but I still remember the feeling of awe.

Top 5 Authors

  1. Richard Raley
    • The man is not afraid to cuss a blue streak and beat characters to a bloody pulp by any means necessary. He is also accessible through his blog site, and he handles feedback well. Or deletes it. Both approaches are justified.
  2. Mark Twain
    • This guy was a genius when it came to being a socially acceptable smart ass. His use of language absolutely sings on the page.
  3. Becca Andre
    • I have read several of Becca’s series (Final Formula series gets an honorable mention in the Top 5 Books category), and I love immersing myself in her magical world and believing in the possibilities for a brief time.
  4. Jennifer Roberson
    • Jennifer Roberson wrote the Chronicles of the Cheysuli series, and this was my introduction into fantasy and shapeshifting characters. It was also my introduction into having to wait for the next book in a series to come out because the writer didn’t publish as fast as I read.
  5. Agatha Christie
    • Agatha Christie was the queen of mysteries. She created a number of distinctive detectives and was able to create a different feel to their stories instead of making every book feel like a cookie cutter copy. I had to learn just enough French to understand what Inspector Poirot was going on about.

Top 5 Musicians

  1. Elvis Presley
    • I will always be an Elvis fan over the Beatles. Listened to both extensively as a child, but Elvis wins. He ended up being a trainwreck as a human being, but I am starting to see that this is a trend when it comes to being a musician.
  2. KISS
    • I love KISS’ music. Don’t really get the appeal of their “live” albums, but I do love their concerts. Haven’t bought an album since the 90s, but the soundtrack of my teen years and early 20s was completely saturated with KISS. It sucked when Eric Carr passed away, Vinnie Vincent was just odd, and I learned to never trust a “farewell” tour until Paul and Gene are truly dead and gone, because everyone else in the lineup is replaceable.
  3. David Lee Roth
    • I will forever call it Van Hagar if DLR isn’t the frontman. DLR has a stage presence and comes up with hilariously campy song ideas that can’t be matched.
  4. Dee Snider
    • Gotta admit that I really only know the Stay Hungry album and then a couple other songs. But what makes Dee a Top 5 in my books is him as a human. He took on the PMRC in the 80s, and made us headbangers proud. He fundraised for the March of Dimes and understands what it is like to have a preemie baby. To this day, he will give you his opinion whether you ask for it or not. His books are great to read. He’s stayed married to the same fantastic woman for decades, and raised 4 great kids who are also out there doing amazing things.
  5. *****
    • For now I am going to leave this musician nameless, but just know right now the situation pisses me off. He has so much talent, and even though he is in his 20s he has captured the power and heart of 80s hair bands and added a current day spin to it that is unmatched. I love my 80s hair bands, so it was awesome to find a new artist that was putting out new music with that familiar energy. And then he just threw it away and walked off. So now I’m back to trying to find new music while being really ticked off and wanting to scream into the void. Musicians need to get their shit together.

Incoming Attitude in 3… 2…

This week’s blog challenge prompt is to gather inspirational quotes and post them–well, I come from a long line of smart asses, so I will post some sayings that have made me chuckle in years past.

Dogs think they’re human–cats know they are.

I don’t do mornings.

There are very few personal problems that can’t be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

I may not always be perfect, but I’m always me.

I’d rather be a smart ass than a dumb shit.

One can never have too many cats.

People become righthanded after they commit their first sin.

If you can’t fix it, blow the damn thing up.

I may only be young once, but I can be immature forever.

51% Sweetheart, 49% Bitch–Don’t Push It.

Don’t rush me–I only have two speeds, and if you don’t like this one, you sure as hell won’t like the other one.

Being smart is the ability to make an enormous mistake and have everyone else think it’s their fault.

If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism–copy from two, it’s research.

Get off my cloud.

Don’t harbor resentments–tell the S.O.B. off now.

You’re cordially invited to go screw yourself.

Isn’t this a beautiful day, friends?  Just watch some bastard louse it up.

The formula for success seems to be ignorance plus confidence.