This week’s blog challenge prompt is to gather inspirational quotes and post them–well, I come from a long line of smart asses, so I will post some sayings that have made me chuckle in years past.

Dogs think they’re human–cats know they are.

I don’t do mornings.

There are very few personal problems that can’t be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

I may not always be perfect, but I’m always me.

I’d rather be a smart ass than a dumb shit.

One can never have too many cats.

People become righthanded after they commit their first sin.

If you can’t fix it, blow the damn thing up.

I may only be young once, but I can be immature forever.

51% Sweetheart, 49% Bitch–Don’t Push It.

Don’t rush me–I only have two speeds, and if you don’t like this one, you sure as hell won’t like the other one.

Being smart is the ability to make an enormous mistake and have everyone else think it’s their fault.

If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism–copy from two, it’s research.

Get off my cloud.

Don’t harbor resentments–tell the S.O.B. off now.

You’re cordially invited to go screw yourself.

Isn’t this a beautiful day, friends?  Just watch some bastard louse it up.

The formula for success seems to be ignorance plus confidence.