I don’t think I can really do justice to the blog challenge prompts for the next 2-4 prompts, so we’re going to veer off into other topics that I find on blogging topic lists.

First up– “How To Be A Morning Person”!

Don’t.

OK, I am biased–I come from a long history of completely disregarding standard bedtimes.

Got a new book to read and a flashlight? Let’s knock out a few chapters after lights out!

Wind whip a branch against the bedroom window on the second floor after a serial killer was caught a few miles down the road? Looks like I’m staying up til day break!

Too much Pepsi not mixing well with reading the latest Stephen King horror novel after dark? Why yes, I do believe I will pull out the sofa bed and watch the Weather Channel until the sun rises!

Now, not everyone in my family has my atrocious sleeping habits. I was fascinated when I would sleep over at my granny’s house and she would be up drinking coffee and getting on with her day at 3 AM or earlier. I learned to sleep through her activities, but it was still fascinating.

One thing I learned in college and young adult life was that I was not a true night owl–night shifts make me sicker than a dog. Past 10 PM, I start fading. By the time the sun comes up during a 11 PM-7 AM shift, I am trying desperately to keep my eyes open and string coherent sentences together. And then when I get home, I CAN’T SLEEP! My body’s clock is completely scrambled and I have to drink copious amounts of caffeine and snarl at anyone who tries to make me exert brain power. However, I did find out that a split shift of sleep works great for me. When I had a college paper route, I would go to sleep at 10 PM, wake up at 2 AM and throw papers for an hour or two, crawl back into bed at 4 AM, and be up and fully functional by 9 or 10 AM.

Know what time I wake up these days? Somewhere between 6 AM and 9 AM at the latest. Know what ruined my ability to sleep in til 10 or 11 AM?

Kids.

No, not having them and being up early because babies don’t sleep for long.

School.

When your kids are school age and you spend a solid 13-20 years getting them up and out the door by 7:30 AM, apparently the body adjusts.

Traitor!

I was spoiled for the first couple years that I was married to my second husband, because he is one of those crazy morning persons who is up and raring to go at 6 AM. So he didn’t have to twist my arm to let him get the kids up at 6 AM and get them fed and dressed while I slept in until 7 AM. You just have at it, buddy.

Then he had a mini-stroke and developed a seizure disorder and everything went kablooey. So I had to return to wake-up duty, getting the first shift up at 6 AM for their baths and showers and the second shift up at 6:30 AM to rinse and repeat.

These days I don’t have little ones who need to be woken up–they can set their own alarms. But I do have 5 indoor cats who rotate throughout the night. I start out the night with Leo sleeping on my side and sometimes Nougat at my feet. I wake up at 3 AM to use the restroom, and Toby moves to beside my head and Nemo hops up on my side. By 6 AM I have William staring down at me and murphing to make sure I know it’s time to get up and join the rest of the family and get him his morning drink of water from the faucet. Keep in mind, he has already gotten multiple drinks of faucet water from my mom who gets up at 5 AM. So I roll out of bed and start drinking iced tea to fuel my day while he daintily swats the water with his left paw and licks off the droplets.

Mornings–solid 3/10. Do not recommend.

I need a nap.