I read. A lot.

Even had my own in-house library once upon a time. Still have 90% of the books, just don’t have the space currently.

So yeah–books. Love them.

I usually find books on my own, but I am willing to take recommendations if the genre is something I like. So when I was scrolling through the social media platform formerly known as Twitter, I saw that one of my favorite rock musicians from back in the day was gushing over a book he had recently read and fangirling when the author of the book replied to his tweet.

The book was Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma by Claire Dederer, and it was exploring the concept of separating the art from the misdeeds of the artist.

This may shock people who didn’t know me back in my youth, but I wasn’t always fat, ugly, and toothless.

So Monsters intrigued me. What does one do when they find out their idol has some pretty awful hobbies or addictions? I always knew my rock idols were human, but I won’t deny that it gives me the ick when I find out they were snorting coke out of body orifices and having sex with multiple partners in the double digits after shows.

Nope. Not exactly stellar role models for their fans.

I didn’t dive into the book expecting to learn new atrocities committed by people I had looked up to for years. I can go to Wikipedia for that. But I was curious to see if the author had any insight into how a fan can navigate loving music while being repulsed by the musician’s poor choices or heinous crimes. I was hit with this situation pretty early on in my hair band era when the lead singer of one of the popular bands got wasted and chose to drive, which led to the death of a member of another upcoming band. It was so common for photo spreads in magazines to feature the rockers wasted and draped with barely clothed groupies backstage that a person eventually became somewhat desensitized to it and barely gave it a thought. But eventually the fans grow up, and the musicians hit a point in their lives where they stop partying and settle down and have wives and families, and everyone lives their lives as normal people.

Unless they don’t and then we get the scandals. Our idols are arrested for beating their spouses black and blue. They are rushed to the hospital with overdoses or found dead in a hotel room after a lifetime of excess. They are caught cheating on their partners, both romantic and business. So then what do we do–burn our albums and merch in the backyard firepit? Or just quietly plug in our earbuds and not let anyone see that we are still jamming to their music?

I was curious to see what the author had to say. I am sad to report that the author did not deliver. In the end, the author’s take-away was that she, too, had chosen to not have children just as Joni Mitchell had, so who was anyone to judge when they, too, have sinned in the eyes of society?

Excuse me?!

Choosing to not have children is NOT equivalent to grooming underage fans or wrapping your Ferrari around a tree and killing granny as she walked across the street because you thought it would be cool to get high and go cruising.

This book left me frustrated and feeling like it was a complete cop-out. It completely derails halfway through the book, and never regains its way. Very rarely am I unhappy with a book purchase, but this one leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

0/10 do not recommend.